Thursday, October 22, 2009

Been there?

There are days when I look around my house and I feel like a Super Woman. A Super Mom. A Super everything. Chores are complete, House is clean, Child is happy, I actually had a shower (this doesn't happen nearly as often as it should) and the day is just sitting there, waiting to be discovered. And when that boy of mine learns something new and delights in the things he discovered that day because I provided the opportunity, well....can I say Super one more time?


Then I'll just say I feel like the Best. Mom. Ever.

But things the last few days have not been Super. Not super at all. And I haven't felt like the best mom ever. Or even a good mom. I feel like a mean mom. And it pains me to say this.

But maybe part of being a good mom is admitting when you need help. When you are in over your head. Am I in over my head?


4:00 am - Miles wakes up. I went downstairs to get pancake mix for breakfast. By the time I walked back upstairs, Miles had his potty chair in the bath tub, filling it up with water, and dumping said water all over the bathroom floor and down the heating vent.

4:15 am - I am bending over the tub cleaning everything up when I hear two tiny little feet running at me from behind. One big push by a very small two year old, and into the tub I go. I am soaked. But on the bright side, today is one of the days I got a "shower."

5:00 am - Miles feeds Marlee his pancakes by throwing them all over the floor. And dumping his milk out for her too.

5:30 am - Mom and Miles both changed into clean clothes and settle onto the couch to watch some cartoons. Where mom dozes off.

5:35 am - to wake mom up, Miles throws his Thomas the Train engine at moms head, causing a huge goose egg, blood, tears, a lot of cursing, and a SERIOUS consideration to giving the culprit a good swat. (gasp!) Instead I opt for the naughty chair. Now renamed the VERY naughty chair.

Before Lunch, Miles had also managed to take off his diaper and poop on the floor, rip up the pages to his book, eat half of all the sticks of string cheese in the fridge, lock me downstairs, and feed all the lunch meat in the fridge to Marlee.

After lunch I went for a drive to McDonalds to get a huge Diet Coke. And Miles fell asleep on the way. Relief!

But Einstein said "That which goes down for a nap, must wake up."

And he did. Before dinner he smashed a box of lasagna noodles into little tiny pieces, opened a box of elbow macaroni, and spread BOTH these things all over the basement.


I went to the bathroom, and when I came out, I found Miles rolling around downstairs in an entire 5 lb. bag of sugar he dumped all over the floor.


Then while I was fixing dinner, he broke eggs all over my living room carpet.


I think it's pretty safe to say I am in over my head.

I have tried being firm, I have tried time-outs and the naughty chair, I have tried ignoring the behavior, I have tried rewarding GOOD behavior instead of punishing bad, and I have tried a combination of all these things at the same time.

And its not working.

But its not even the bad behavior that has me in this glumy mood. Its my reaction to it. I am losing the battle to remain calm. I am losing my patience. I am losing my good mom self.

I am turning into a frustrated mom. I have been too loud, too angry, too impatient.

I am the mean mom.

But I want to be the good mom again.

So tell me. I want to know. Seriously, lay it all out. I need your help, tips, tricks, and great child rearing secrets.

Miles thanks you in advance. (I think he is missing Super Mom even more than I am)


  1. Enjoy the good days, fight like heck to make it through the bad days, and be happy the days in between aren't as bad as some days! On the bad days I have found it is good to let them play outside and run for a while, other than that just try to survive.

  2. Oh Sarah, I have been there. Believe me, when Owen was Miles' age I cried more times than I can count. I was the mean mom more times than I like to admit. This age is THE WORST, or it was for me with Owen. Lucky for Abigail I have been through it before and I know that before too long I will get my sweet child back again.

    I remember one day in particular when Owen was out of control and I was hiding in the closet in our apartment crying on the phone to my mom while Owen ran crazy in the house, destroying everything in his path. I had so many days where I didn't really even like Owen, and then I felt bad for feeling that way. I just couldn't understand why I had such a rotten child. Three was a little better, and a little worse, but four, four was wonderful!

    Just keep up the good work, and don't let him win! When you get mad, he wins. No matter what, just remember that he is only a child. I started a journal for my kids, writing down weekly all things they did, good or bad. That way, when he gets older you can make him feel really bad about all the naughty things he did!

    Since I have been spending so much time alone with my kids lately I have decided that I am going to have a good time and do fun things regardless of how grumpy they are. I am not going to let my kids "ruin" this experience for me. I spend many days with screaming, crying kids, but all be damned if I am going to let them make me grumpy! Life is to be enjoyed. Just enjoy the journey, Motherhood is an adventure!

  3. I feel your pain! There have been several occasions where I have been on the phone with my mom bawling and asking what is wrong with me and Nyah!! At this age they don't listen, she now talks back, and now she has a little sister to constantly pick on!! The only thing I can suggest is at the end of the day, make sure you get your alone time and try and hug him as much as possible! Not that it makes them listen any better, cus lets face it I think most can admit that's impossible. But it does make you feel better to put your arms around the little person that you love so much! Good luck!!!!

  4. Just remember, "This too will pass". One day you will be sad because your little one has grown up. Try to make your house as child proof as you can, so they can't get into things. Aren't you blessed that he is so healthy,active,and,curious.
    And the saving grace is that he won't remember if you're grumpy with him. Read Elder Bednar's conference talk. It will give you a better perspective. Hang in there. Believe me, I know you're a great mom. I see mom's everyday that don't give a hang dang about their kids or their parenting. The fact that you're concerned, says alot of good things about you. Love, Mom

  5. Your mom is so right Sarah, I look at Seth who is my youngest btw, and I can't believe he's so stink'n big!

    Still I have a few thoughts. What you're doing (besides the blowing up part which we've all done) is right. Just keep putting him in time out, he's a toddler, he'll eventually get it, as long as you do it.

    My other piece of advice is take time for yourself. Have a date, a girls night, something to get you out of your house and doing something non baby, when you have those bad days those "times for you" will help you through the bad days. I promise! I know I've got 3 of them. :)

    Don't be too hard on yourself too. love ya!