I was rummaging through my dresser the other day. Just as I was thinking, "why do I have so much stuff in here?" I found an old fortune cookie fortune I had managed to save.
It said, "Don't give up on your goals. Your efforts will soon be rewarded."
My subconscious must have realized I would need to read that on a day I was really struggling.
And I know it sounds silly, but that was all it took for me to re-focus and re-dedicate to this crazy thing called parenthood.
(That, and I followed up on my Mom's good advice to re-read Elder Bednar's talk from last General Conference
" Now and then verses of scripture were read amid outbursts such as “He’s touching me!” “Make him stop looking at me!” “Mom, he’s breathing my air!” ... At times Sister Bednar and I were exasperated because the righteous habits we worked so hard to foster did not seem to yield immediately the spiritual results we wanted and expected.
Today if you could ask our adult sons what they remember about family prayer, scripture study, and family home evening, I believe I know how they would answer. They likely would not identify a particular prayer or a specific instance of scripture study or an especially meaningful family home evening lesson as the defining moment in their spiritual development. What they would say they remember is that as a family we were consistent.... The consistency of our intent and work was perhaps the greatest lesson—a lesson we did not fully appreciate at the time.Good Gravy, I'm grateful for wise council.
And so, I have found my new groove.
With a new sticker reward system, renaming 'time-out' to 'the naughty chair', giving lots of praise for good behavior, and asking dad to help back me up in the discipline department when he is home, have really helped to turn things around.
Oh, and a renewed personal zeal to have family (and personal) prayer, Family Home Evening, Scripture study, and good quality mother/son bonding time might have helped. Just a little. :)
I'm just glad nice mom is back. Now, if only I could track down Super Mom to come clean my house.......