Just call me Auntie

There has been some exciting news in the Atkinson family recently. And I have been dying to share. A good secret can be awfully difficult to keep.

I'm sure now that you all know there was a top secret involved, you want in too.

Well, just head on over to my sister's blog (www.billsology.blogspot.com) to check out her announcement.

Let me just state for the record that though the Chinese Lunar Calendar predicts a boy, and that is what I am secretly longing for her to have, I am predicting lots of pink in her future.

Congratulations Bills Family!

Someone to watch over me

I knelt down this evening to offer the most sincere and humble prayer of thanks and gratitude I could muster. The type of prayer I think really only a mother can understand.

But I'm getting ahead of myself...

Today was a good day. The kind of day when you can't help but take a step back and notice. You know, the kind of day when you are awoken, an hour later than usual, by the laughter of a happy baby playing in his crib. The kind of day you DREAD because grocery shopping is on the agenda, but your mischievous boy manages to stay in his seat the entire time, never once asking for a treat, or screaming "POOP!" at complete strangers at the top of his lungs. The kind of day when everything at the grocery store you want to buy is on sale, and your one week budget stretches to purchase two weeks worth of food. Add to that the 3.5 hour nap my little guy took, and I was on top of the world!

Ironic how everything can change in an instant.

We had such an enjoyable day together, me and that little Miles of mine. And the weather was PERFECT outside. So we drove downtown to Bishop Park. It's a beautifully massive park right on the Detroit river. We go there often to run and play on the playground, chase the seagulls, and watch the fishermen on the pier. The place never disappoints, and today was no exception.

When Miles and I were completely tuckered and could not muster the strength to slide one more time, I scooped him up and loaded him for the short 5 minute drive home. And then I don't know what happened......

Maybe I was lost somewhere between exhaustion and motherhood bliss. Maybe I was distracted by my own incessant mental dialogue, or I was replaying my good fortunes of the day in mind to enjoy a second time. I just don't know.

But one thing I DO know: I never saw the stoplight. What I did see was a large Chevy Silverado. Close. Much too close. I tried to turn, and he tried to turn, but impact was unavoidable. In the blink of an eye, my perfect day was smashed to smithereens all over the intersection at Biddle and Cedar.

I was buckled, and I was okay. And I saw the man getting out of his truck. He was okay. And my sweet sweet screaming baby in the backseat, he would be just fine once the scare was over. The police were summoned, an ambulance arrived (no one needed it), witnesses gathered, and later a tow truck driving man (who heard the whole thing on his police scanner) towed my beloved RAV away.

I have never been one for public displays of emotion. "Public" meaning around anyone but myself. I have developed an uncanny ability to keep it together until I can find a quiet time, usually very late, to be alone. Then the walls come crumbling.

Which leads me to my tearful conversation I had with God tonight. I thanked him for watching over us and expressed my gratitude that neither myself nor the gentleman I hit were injured. I thanked him for the kind and forgiving heart of that same gentleman who, when I apologized over and over said," well, that's why they call it an accident." I expressed my utmost gratitude for the passers-by who rushed to my car and to my side, offering assistance to me, a complete stranger, and my baby boy. I thanked him for a hard working police force who arrived in only minutes. I was ESPECIALLY thankful for a wonderful husband who, I could tell was boiling mad under the surface, but put his arm around me and simply said "I'm glad both of you are okay." But I saved my most heart felt pleas for last.

"Thank you, Thank you Dear Lord, for watching over and protecting my precious baby. Thank you for keeping him safe. I don't know if I deserve it, but I will continue to do everything I can to show You I did. Amen."

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

After 3+ years of weighing his options, saving, and searching high and low, my dad finally did it! He went and bought himself one of these sweet rides.

I was a little hurt he bought this mean machine the day AFTER I left from my 3 week stay. (you know, as oppossed to the day BEFORE I got there.)

But, in the spirit of forgiveness, I have taken it upon myself to find the perfect name.

I already tried "My daughter moved to Michigan and the only thing that would mend my broken heart was to buy this kick ass boat."

But it won't fit on the hull. :)

So, I have come up with a few OTHER options that are more length appropriate. Check out the poll over on my side bar and let me know what YOU think!

(New suggestions are also always appreciated.)

Gone Again

If you hadn't noticed, I took a little break from blogging last month. And for good reason I think. We (meaning Miles and myself) took a 3 1/2 week vacation back to Utah. When I'm away on vacation, I just don't like to spend my time plucking away at the keys on my computer. Or worrying about editing and organizing photos.

No. When I'm on vacation, the only thing I worry about is entertaining me and the little guy.

And this last month, we have kept ourselves VERY entertained. We:

Attended my beautiful Sister-in-Law's wedding

Visited friends at my 10 year High School Reunion

Took in the Little Big Town and Josh Turner concert at the Uinta County Fair

Spent time in the surf and sand at the Atkinson Family Reunion in Bear Lake

And participated in a little event I nicknamed "Spring Break at the Zoo: 2nd Generation"

Nearly every spring break we had growing up, my mom loaded the van up with the Atkinson kids, drove nearly a WHOLE BLOCK to pick up my cousin Darcey, and off we went to spend the day at the Hogle Zoo. Now Darcey and I are all grown up with kids of our own. I live in Michigan and she lives in Oregon, but we happened to be visiting Utah at the exact same time. So Grandma and Grandpa Atkinson arranged for the whole clan to enjoy a day at the zoo.

We had a wonderful time and were grateful to our families for letting us stay. But I noticed a strange thing while I was away. I missed my little Wyandotte bungalow. And I missed husband immensely. (That goes without saying.) And after a couple of weeks, I found I was excited to make my flight back home.

Yes, Home. To Michigan.

How is it that I can feel more at home in a town I have only spent the last 6 weeks, than a place I lived the first 18 years of my life? Yes, most of my worldy posessions were waiting for me in Michigan. My sheets so soft they send me instantly to dream land and my old down pillow that now conforms perfectly to my head, were a full 3 days drive away. But I had left more than that behind.

The old saying: "Home is where your heart is," may be considered cliche, but it is true.

I had left my heart in Michigan, a long with my husband and everything else.

And now I am home, heart and family reunited. And I can't think of a better place to be.

Gone, Baby. Gone.

Our lovely home is no longer ours. Or so that's what they say. We signed a few papers, mailed them in, and just like that, it was over.

When the Title company e-mailed me to tell me the buyers had officially closed on our house, it was bittersweet. I was relieved it was over, but mostly saddened at the thought of strangers living in my home. There were no tears though. In matters relating to our home, I have been very brave.

When the for sale sign went up, my mom asked how I was doing. I told her I had already moved through my stages of grief.

First, shock and denial at what was happening around the country. As in, "my house is worth HOW MUCH LESS than what I paid??!!" I was positive it would turn around. It HAD to turn around.....didn't it?

Then guilt. Mike didn't even want to buy a house. He liked our house, but he just wanted a little apartment across the street from the school. That wasn't the plan. That wasn't MY plan. We had worked. Hard. Really Hard. And we had saved. Saved a lot......And the market was starting to boom. I KNEW it would be a great investment. I just knew it. And......I was wrong. Boy was I wrong. And all the money we worked so hard for was gone. It was all my fault. Because Mike didn't even want to buy a house.

Then I was Angry. Angry at what was happening to us. We had no control over it. It certainly wasn't what I would call an "equitable situation." And Mike and I had completely different views on what should be done. I was angry about that too.

Then Despair. I felt hopeless and sad at what this would mean for our family and our future. Our options were bleak, at best.

But then, a bit of an upturn. I started reading, learning, investigating, and searching for answers. And finally, after several weeks of frank discussions with my husband, real estate experts, and friends and family, we had a plan.

And then there was Acceptance.

Everything went as smoothly as I believe is possible in the selling of a home in the 2nd worst real estate market in the country. Within two weeks we had multiple offers. And so we packed up our home to move across the country. And when I walked through my beloved abode for the last time, I was sentimental, sure. I will admit my eyes flooded with the salty warmth that is so familiar to them. But I refused to let those tears fall. I had accepted it. And it was time to move on.

It took another month to reconcile the details with the bank. I should say, we filled out a form and sent in some paper work, and it took them a month to process it. Then just like that it was over. I felt heavy hearted, but there were no tears. We were one of the lucky ones. And I was relieved.

You see, no tears = brave in my book. (Because those dang tears flow so easily for me.) So I HAVE been brave.

.....at least until today.

I stumbled across this unassuming picture in my computer.

And just as quickly as our house was gone, my emotional flood gates were opened.

I remembered the day we moved in. Our excitement permeated every crack and crevice.

And I remembered re-painting the kitchen 3 times until I had the perfect shade of green.

And the sweat and blood that stained the paver stones we used when we built the back patio ourselves.

We built our patio, we built our marriage, and we built a family.

We grew up there. And we grew together.

When we brought our baby home we placed him in his nursery with the yellow walls. Those same walls, months earlier, were littered with hundreds of paint samples. I searched for weeks for the perfect hue.

There were tears of joy, and tears of sorrow, sleepless nights, and the best moments of my life thus far.

That picture was symbolic of all those things and more. It was a symbol to me of all the joy and laughter we shared within our walls. Those priceless every day moments I was lucky enough to capture and freeze in time.

The tears I cry now are not from grief. There's no need for me to travel those stages. (again) I cry because I feel so honored and blessed to have experienced the things I did there. I will miss my home terribly. But I look ahead another four years and am excited to see what surprises will await us here in Michigan. In our new home.

If the future is as good as the past, I have a lot to be excited about.

Backdated Post #3: May 26, 2009 - The Grand Canyon

Graduation was just around the corner, and we knew the time we had to spend with our friends, (who had become our family) was drawing to a close. We had lived in Arizona for 4 years, and there were still so many places we hadn't been. So we decided to take full advantage of our days off, and we headed to the Grand Canyon with the Tranchells.
The weather was beautiful, the views were amazing and.....

Miles was VERY upset we didn't allow him to climb over the fences. We had been warned that taking two 1-year olds to visit a gigantic whole in the earth might not be a great idea. But the kids actually did great. We went for a small hike around the rim of the canyon, and that seemed to be their favorite part.

At the end of the day we went back to our hotel, enjoyed a nice(?) mexican/steakhouse dinner, swam in the pool and relaxed in the hot tub. And eventually, when the kids had fallen asleep, we pushed the tables together, played games and ate treats late into the night.

Thanks Tranchells for a great trip. I think I am going through Carcasonne withdrawls, so I hope we can get together soon!!

Family Pictures

Backdated post #2: May 20, 2009

Every once in awhile the whole Atkinson Family gets together. It was tricky sometimes all being in the same place at the same time, because we lived in Arizona. And when we found out we were moving to Michigan, we knew the few opportunities we had every year to ALL be together would dwindle down to almost never.

And it just so happened there was one Wednesday evening in May when we could all clear our schedules and meet in Ogden to take some family pictures.

We're a pretty good lookin' bunch if I do say so myself.
We met in Ogden at the corner of 42nd Street and Harrison Blvd, where there just happens to be a big Flying J building with AMAZING landscaping. Karma must have been smiling down on us, because I was able to book a great photographer, with less than 24 hours notice, and her only opening for the month was the night we needed her.

Here's just a smattering of the pictures she took. I'm told there are more great ones on the CD that will be arriving at my doorstep shortly.

I am hoping,eventually, these new pictures will translate into new frames on the walls of my home, and a fun new blog design.

Eventually.

My little sailor

Pardon me as I back up a bit, if you consider a month only a bit. But in all the changes and all the chaos going on for our family, we actually had some pretty good times.

I was recently reminded of them when I finally downloaded pictures from all three of my very full memory cards. Over 800 pictures later, and many, many (too many to count) hours spent organizing and backing them up (in triplicate mind you!), and I can't help but share a few of our happy moments with you.

I hope you will enjoy viewing all my back-dated posts as much as I did living them.

May 14, 2009:

Just call us CRAZY...but we decided to brave the cold water, cloudy skies, and bazillions of mosquitos to take the boat for a spin at Willard Bay in Utah. Miles was brave and put his feet in the freezing water. I was forced to pull them out when they started turning blue.

Mike was even braver and jumped in to go wake-boarding. He had a good 15 minute run before his shivering and quivering brought him back to the boat.And we discovered Miles' inner pirate. He's a Captain of the Sea. We're still working on the "Ahoy Matey", but he's a pro at steering the ship.

Did you know it's much easier to Captain a ship if you aren't wearing any pants? Either did I. But Miles insisted.

D-Rock

Home from our trip to the D-Rock.

That's what the street folks call it.

Atleast that's what I've heard.

And I am happy to report a few things:

FIRST - We are not living in Detroit. I felt I needed to clarify. We are living in a quaint, family friendly, beautiful little suburb right on the river. Wyandotte is its name. And because I'm feeling extra nice today, I'll help you pronounce said town correctly. All together now........."Wine-dot"

SECOND - It really is beautiful there. My heart feels all a flutter just thinking of leaving behind my boring and dusty rocks in the back yard, and my beige house in my beige neighborhood for green, green, green. Green trees, green grass, and the river is mostly green too. (You prolly wouldn't want to swim in it.)

And THIRDLY , if thirdly is an actual word.....

I am happy to report we have found our new abode

An adorable and super small 1920s Bungalow, complete with 3 bedrooms, a big front porch, 2 car garage, and a great fenced back-yard. I love it.

And it's only 3 minutes from the hospital. Mike loves that.

I actually think I might be ready for this. To haul my family across the country and start a new life there.

Here I come Michigan,

my new Home Sweet Home!

Up to Date

Update on us:

Here's what we've been up to in the weeks since my last post.

Miles sprouted horns, and has spent the last few weeks growing into them

But somehow I still fall a little more in love with him every day

We put our house on the market, and headed to Utah and Wyoming for 3 weeks

We received an offer on our house, and I had my hair cut. (Though not in that order)

Celebrated a college graduation of our dear friend with a Hawaiian Luau. And caught a SWEET video of Mike doing his best at a "Hakka". Seriously, it is hilarious. And I would post it....but this is one of those instances where it is NOT better to ask forgiveness than permission.

We met Papa and Nana at Uinta Golf in Salt Lake so Mike could get fitted for some new custom clubs.

(he picked the new Callaway X 22s.....Lucky!)

While the big boys were playing at the golf store, the girls took the little boys to the aquarium

Don't let this picture fool you. Those boys were heavily bribed by their aunt Rachel to sit on her lap.

Just kidding. They love you Rach!


And I finally got some shots of me and my little man together. This doesn't happen often.

And this is why......
And one thing we HAVEN'T done.......

follow through on the "no binky" rule, obviously.

Only one more month until we are Michigan bound, so I am soaking up everything I can from our trip North. I'm sure it will be awhile before we can make it back.

There's still so much more to do, and so little time. So please don't feel bad if I neglect my blogland duties. For awhile at least. It's nothing personal.

And when things calm down, and we are settled, I have grand old plans for this little blog of mine. So Stay Tuned!